are you your husbands girlfriend?

I wrote this blog post last April and since then it has been my most searched post on google. I have received e-mails regarding this topic throughout the year and decided that I am going to post it, and maybe update it, every year.

I love listening to Dr. Laura's radio show.

A major point she makes has always stuck with me.

She often asks married female callers if they are their husbands girlfriend.

Think about it...

Back when you and your husband were just dating, didn't you go out of your way for one another and put their needs infront of your own?

You were probably playful and passionate.

You made sure you stood out in a crowd by wearing stylish clothes, putting on perfume and popping breath mints.

Lingering eye contact made your man weak in his knees. As did a little graze of the arm!

That's all part of dating.

But have you let yourself go since you made the committment, signed the document and gotten the ring?

And this letting yourself go doesn't happen immediately.

It happens over time.

As the years progress, some-to-most, get complacent in their marriage.

That’s when people start to lose that lovin’ feeling — because they stop doing the things that made their partner fall in love with them in the first place.

But what do you think would happen if you recreated those dating behaviors with your spouse?

What would happen if you became your husbands girlfriend?

Think about it. Better yet. Try it.

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Always remember that men need to feel admired.

Pride + Ego = Man

Feeling admired is a male need.

Being needed is a male need.

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Newsflash: Flirting with your husband is a good thing, ladies.

So is shaving your legs, applying your make up and wearing something cute to bed instead of letting yourself turn into the ogre under the bridge.

(Side note: If you don't have much free time or energy, invest in Listerine and lip gloss - those two items will be much appreciated by your husband!)

And when I say to wear something cute -- I'm not talking about being impractical.

I'm talking about wearing tight yoga pants (even though you don't do yoga) and a loose fitting, low cut top -- you will be comfortable while feeding the baby, running carpool, grocery shopping and blogging... and your husband will see the shape of your body and a little skin.

It's a win, win!

These are not manipulations and are not meant to be a burden — they are fun, loving girlfriend-y things to do.

And the same goes for your husband.

Men need to tell their wife she’s beautiful, take her on a date, hold her hand on the couch and be her rock.

Being suprised with a handpicked flower or even just a kiss on the forehead followed by a soft "I love you" goes a long way.

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Before Bryan and I were married, I would tell him that I wasn't looking forward to becoming his wife, for I was looking forward to becoming his forever girlfriend.

It's kind of a joke, but I really do feel this way!

I made up this term, and if you are part of my family or a close friend, you know how serious I am about the forever girlfriend title.

Bryan always refers to me as his forever girlfriend and it makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside.

It adds a fresh element to our new marriage and I hope it will always add that dating edge to our relationship.

Granted, wehaven't been married for decades, but I can tell you that I began listening to Dr. Laura about 2 months before Bryan and I met.

I've been practicing what she preached from the very beginning and I sure snagged myself one hell of a guy who treats me the way I deserve to be treated!

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If you don't listen to Dr. Laura, I suggest you start! Even Bryan listens to her and loves her advice and outlook on marriage...

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Added on April 2, 2012:
For a take on this theory from someone who has been with her husband for 10 years and has 2 kids, click here.